My biggest problem I have is a hard time making and keeping friends. I want friends only on the autism spectrum so that I can relate to each other and be taken more seriously. It's so frustrating trying to make friends alone and even if I make friends, keeping them is another hard thing in itself. I ruined a lot of chances on making friends in Camp Kaylie due to looking at other people's medications and acting very immature.
There were instances that I made friends with a few people in distant places and got along very well but the friend's parents didn't want them talking to me for some reason and end up getting blocked. This keeps on happening. I feel like older people are ruining it for me. Some tell their sons to not talk to me, while others say stuff like "I'm your friend" (I should be making friends with people my own age) or "I'm young at heart and identify as someone that's your age". This is just so frustrating for me. The problem is that people in Far Rockaway don't admit that they have autism and are in Yeshiva out of town and dorm there. It frustrates me very much! Especially when all my other siblings has friends their own type that are very close and go on trips a lot.
I spent more than a few months going from synagogue to synagogue looking for friends with people my own age that are on the autism spectrum but I'm only seeing older people in the synagogue because people my age are either dorming in college or are dorming in Yeshiva. My parents are keep on telling me that I'm climbing up a straight wall.
I'm also having a lot of nightmares lately about parents of people on the spectrum not wanting me to be friends with their son because they would be embarrased about their child having autism while his siblings would be friends with my siblings hearing all my siblings and their new friends happily talking loudly in the background while I'm just pacing around depressed. This is impacting my everyday life including work and college.
| Yeshivish friends | Neurotypical friends | Autistic friends | Older friends |
|---|---|---|---|
| And more... | |||
I also have a very small comfort zone
| Comfort zone | Reason |
|---|---|
| I'm uncomfortable with people older than me | I'm just uncomfortable with people that look physically mature because of my developmental delays and also because older generations do things very differently than my generation, Generation Z. |
| I prefer to only be around people on the autism spectrum because I can relate to them better | I feel like friendships with other people on the autism spectrum are more mutual than neurotypicals because I'm going through the same thing and have more to relate to. |
| I prefer to be with boys | Boys do things and act differently than girls. Autism is also more different in boys than they are with girls. |
I also have sensory issues with flashing lights and noises which can be a problem when going on family trips. It would be nice to make friends with other people on the spectrum and go on special autistic-friendly trips with them.
That's my autism problems. My ADHD problems are being very hyperactive and a hard time focusing (I'm on medication for it now).